Chainsaw "Daredevil" Joe
Never one to shrink in the face of overwhelming obstacles such as a roomful of evil Agents, you choose instead to take the chandelier and outsmart the bad guys!
Vital Gear
Includes a hot car or motorcycle for daring getaways and high-speed chases and death defying stunts in the air.
Recipe for Fruit Cake
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey
- Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.
- Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
- Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
- Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
- Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
- Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.
- Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or somehing. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
- Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
- Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
- Check the whiskey again.
- Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?